Grumpy thought maybe he should share a bit of his fishing zen with the community to cut down on the stupid tells he gets in game asking for tips and such. For crissakes, when Grumpy is fishing, he doesn’t have time to answer questions about the stats of ore or where the latest uber copper is rumored to have shifted in for 2 hours early in the morning while the servers were down.
Grumpy has a bunch of preparation before he can start. One, make sure the vendors are stocked. Nothing kills a good fishing buzz like worries about sufficient stock at the stores. Two, speaking of a buzz, refreshments. Have plenty, fishing can’t be macro’d and that would be stupid anyways. Three, music is helpful. Grumpy chooses music by people in flannel shirts and torn jeans playing acoustic guitars and b*tching about The Man, but he thinks music about “yo, homey’s ho that has 3 brats already even tho she’s still in 9th grade and getting jiggy with the principal” could work also.
Grumpy takes along a travel pack because he is such a good fisherman, his inventory fills up quickly. Grumpy also has a few jars of bait, but Grumpy does have scout skills so he can filet his own bait, too. Any fishermen without scout are tourists; Grumpy’s the real deal.
Now, about the pole. Naturally, Grumpy has a FISHING POLE WORTHY OF THE GODS, the Fishmaster 300000-something. Grumpy got his off the bazaar one day and it’s been his trusty companion ever since. Maybe the dude still has some on the bazaar, Grumpy doesn’t know. Grumpy thinks the rating might have something to do with the catch rate, but that could be fishing superstition.
Grumpy’s favorite fishing spots are those as far away from the blue dots (other players on radar) as possible. Less blue dots translates directly to less tells like “yo, city hall, how much?” or “hey, can you make a large house?” For crissakes, of course he can! Will he? No.
Next, Grumpy prepares his afk message. Some nights, Grumpy goes for the shocking, like…/afkmessage Masturbating, back when I get cleaned up. Some nights, he goes for the direct…/afkmessage No, I don’t want to buy a holocron for 5 mil. One time, he used…/afkmessage La plume de mi tia, which he thinks might be about a spanish doorknob shoved up his aunt’s butt, but isn’t sure; he mostly napped during high school Spanish.
Now here’s the super-secret fishing technique…pay attention, you might want to take notes because Grumpy will not go over this again. And he doesn’t answer questions, or tells.
Once Grumpy gets a Nibble, he always tugs to the right (the selectable action) and on Bite, he always tugs up. He has to hook the d*mn thing, noob! When the window says Caught Something?, Grumpy waits. When the game tells him that the fish takes some sort of action (charges towards him, takes more line, etc), Grumpy runs like h*ll at his bobber, and….CAUGHT! BOO YA!!! Fish tonight, baby! Usually Grumpy shouts this IRL when he catches his first fish of the night. Usually his gf/business partner shouts back to knock that silly shiaz off.
If you’re the real deal, like Grumpy, and have scout skills, then you can filet your fish and get meat plus a new jar of bait. If you’re a tourist, you just have a fish, which is good too. Grumpy thinks you could ask a scout to filet it for you, but don’t ask Grumpy because he would be annoyed to do a trade window and all that nonsense.
Sometimes other fishermen will show up and cast a few. Some of them talk a bit; most don’t. Almost all the fishermen have an understanding that any talk should be about the fish…which pole to use, how to price the fish filets, which puddles have the best fish/vegetation ratios. It’s a nice change of pace from the busy, glamorous lifestyle of the Master Merchant with a vast architectural empire. Don’t show up to fish and start yo yo price-checking with Grumpy. A simple /nod or tip of your hat will do.
Grab a pole and a jar of bait, and pull a few out of the stream, there’s plenty of fish for everyone.
The Grumpy Master Architect ©