Ever since about the first week they played SWG, Grumpy’s gf/business partner has been making fun of Grumpy’s ears. For crissakes, who checks their ear size when they’re creating their SWG character?!?!?! Apparently, everyone except Grumpy does, and he was getting a little tired of being called Dumbo.
For a few weeks, his gf was a Novice Entertainer too and image-designed his hair to the man’s long hairstyle and then had refused to change it back because it covered his ears. She told him it looked manly, which Grumpy believed at first, then he realized it was all about the ear thing again! Once while running to a mission, he asked if she was still with him following and she said..ya, I just follow the ears. (audible hilarity from her computer area)
The one night, his gf ran into a Master Image Designer and got a new hairstyle herself. She asked Grumpy what he thought. Now, Grumpy knows little about women, the following are the few things he does know…
1. Keeping his mouth shut is his best option except in the following situations.
2. Does this outfit make me look fat? Even if it’s an actual Halloween fat suit costume, the proper answer is…NO. (not too quickly and not too loudly)
3. Do you like my new hairstyle/haircut? Yes (especially effective if delivered after a small period of careful consideration)
4. Do you notice anything different?!?!?! (again, a very short period of consideration) Yes! I like it! (then desperately hunt for clues in the conversation as to what the different thing actually is)
So, naturally, Grumpy said..yes, he liked it, although, he thought to himself that beads on her hair looked a little silly and really hoped she wouldn’t adopt this haircut IRL.
Then, for about the 58th time, she suggested that he see a Master Image Designer. Now, to be candid, neither one of them knew if a Master was required to reduce ear size, but they both figured (after a brief RL discussion) that this was SO serious an adjustment, that a Master was probably in order. Her Master ID had logged off, thank goodness, apparently he was wearing a skirt and Grumpy thinks everyone should know by now that this would not go over well with a homophobic like Grumpy.
Grumpy’s not in touch with his feminine side, he doesn’t want to get in touch with his feminine side, he hasn’t even spoken to his feminine side since the 5th grade when it got beaten up by Bobby Bauer and his team of thugs. And, Grumpy certainly hopes that prison is treating Bobby Bauer well these days.
Grumpy’s gf sent him to the local cantina to hunt for a Master Image Designer, with orders that he should get a Master ID haircut too, and not to come back to the stores until he did and o ya, tip the Master well on top of any fee…W-T-H, Grumpy’s no noob, he knows to tip the entertainers as if they’re not AFK. Grumpy slunk off to the busiest cantina he knows of, searched the crowd for that asshat NoobMedic that had his alt on addignore FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER (no luck there), but did find a Master ID that was open for business!
She was a pretty toon too and nice, not /arch’ing at him or beckoning him over to have sex or to do unnatural things to her pet. She asked Grumpy what he wanted or if she should just do what she thought best. Grumpy thought that had disaster written all over it, so just told her to trim the ears, no, not the hair above the ears, the actual ears! And a Master hair cut too. And no /arch’ing please, Grumpy is easily excited by pixels in motion.
She did some voodoo and asked him if the ears were more to his liking. /shrug They didn’t really look different to him, but his ears had been covered for months by Scorpion King hair so he had no idea. He agreed that they did look better. (It’s not Grumpy that has an “ear issue”, sister.) Then she asked a few questions about what kind of haircut he’d like. Grumpy told her, short and like a man would have, a man that doesn’t spend anymore time on his hair except to use a bar of soap on it every morning. She “oh my”-d that, and Grumpy figures that must be a girl thing, because his gf has the same reaction to his hair washing technique.
She then proclaimed him finished and asked if he was satisfied. (Grumpy thought to himself..in more ways than one, baby…but was on his best behavior, never know if that would get back to his gf). He told her yes, thanked her, and then threw piles of credits at her, grateful to be done with this adventure.
Grumpy rode his trusty steed back to the main location, his beloved credit-friendly AND productive environ and asked his gf what she thought. (The irony of her having to answer a loaded question for once was not lost on Grumpy.)
She paused for a short period of careful consideration, had him turn all the way around, then said yes, she did like it very much. Grumpy was relieved, no more of that nonsense necessary.
Then she added, tomorrow you need to see a Master Tailor.
The Grumpy Master Architect ©
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