Last week, Grumpy’s gf/business partner announced that she needed Grumpy’s assistance in SWG. Grumpy thought to himself…GREAT! Possibly he could parlay this favor into additional football viewing time on the weekend for himself and his best football bud..the TV remote control. Picture in picture..BOO YA!
His gf wanted Grumpy to help a SWG “friend” decorate her new Master Tailor shop. THE HORROR!
Grumpy’s attempted (and failed) arguments against this idea:
a. SWG people are not real friends because you can’t ask them to help you move very large and cumbersome furniture to a new residence.
b. Grumpy is not gay
c. Grumpy is busy
d. Grumpy is out of resources to make furniture
e. Grumpy is drunk or is going to get drunk to avoid this
f. Grumpy just had a heart attack
g. Grumpy will mess this up so badly that his gf’s “friend” will burst into tears and never speak to his gf again and will tell everyone that Grumpy is possibly the WORST architect on the server and no one should shop at any of his locations and then the architectural empire will crumble and he will die a poor and broken man.
To which, she responded…I’ll go along too then.
Great.
Grumpy packed up piles of resources, a travel pack to carry the dozens of items this “friend” was sure to dismiss on a whim, and his trusty crafting droid. After running for-*EXPLETIVE*-ever through dozens of red and angry mobs that had taken the day off from camping Grumpy’s factory, they finally arrived at the Tailor’s shop. Which was completely empty.
Great.
First, the tailor and his gf had to spend an hour talking about clothes and colors of clothes and possible future colors of clothes and what clothes look ridiculous and….Grumpy lost track. Grumpy wanted this “friend” to show him the money before they got started but apparently this would have been rude and might cause the “friend” to burst into tears.
Next, the tailor wanted to know all the colors that Grumpy could do with that semi-circular couch. Grumpy told her…yelllow and…of course, yellow. The tailor was scandalized and still hadn’t shown him the money, by the way. While his gf and the “friend” discussed this latest turn of events, Grumpy stealth-afk’d to see if any NBA players had been arrested lately for felonies. No such luck.
Grumpy was ordered to craft 4593 different pieces of furniture and place them at precise angles and varying levels of height to create the illusion of a very fashionable clothing boutique, such as one might find in those cute little big-city neighborhoods, doesn’t he know the ones they mean?? Grumpy offered to craft a bullet for himself if that would speed things up, but his gf shouted at him IRL.
After hours of this nonsense, and a few tailoring breaks so the “friend” could make new clothes for his gf and herself (no thanks, none for Grumpy, Grumpy doesn’t do fashion ESPECIALLY in SWG for crissakes), the “friend” was finally satisfied with her shop. They packed up the extra 3 dozen or so plants and torches that had been dismissed on a whim, and Grumpy kinda hung around with his hand out, because he still had not been shown the gd money.
Wait, it got better. Grumpy’s gf cheerfully (he thinks she even used the /mood cheerful) told the “friend” to just stop by any of their stores and pay anytime. !!!!!!! This time she had gone too far with this “being nice to people” BS. Grumpy’s out 50k, his hide stash almost gone (and who knows where his hide suppliers have been lately, probably in cantinas trying to harvest some Twilek “hide”) and he lost 3 hours of his life creating a “SWG Boutique”.
On the plus side, his gf is happy with him for doing this favor AND the “friend” is going to recommend Grumpy to all of her “friends”.
Great.
The Grumpy Master Architect ©