Grumpy realizes Christmas is incoming, like a runaway freight train closing in on Grumpy with his foot stuck in the rails. Grumpy talked to his RL mother on the phone earlier this week and she suggested that he might want to do some gift shopping before Xmas Eve this year and he might want to do this shopping at a store other than the local gas/convenient mart. Grumpy thinks an empty Slurpee cup is all his satanic brother-in-law deserves anyhow.
Grumpy’s first thought about Xmas this year was that he could pick out a SWG item for his gf/business partner THAT WASN’T A HOLOCRON, and if he chose wisely enough, that gift could count as her rl Xmas present also. And how convenient, he probably wouldn’t have to even leave his SWG neighborhood to find a suitable gift.
And then Grumpy woke up.
Upon further reflection, his gf wouldn’t think ANYTHING from SWG would count as the rl Xmas gift and she probably ALSO expects (dare he say, demands) a SWG gift. Oh cruel reality. So the list is reborn, the dreaded Xmas list.
1. Gf/business partner - rl gift (Grumpy added rl so he would remember not to screw this one up too badly, in other words, expensive, and only sold in stores that smell like a French bordello.)
2. Gf/business partner - SWG gift (hey, maybe another copy of SWG so Grumpy could put up some billboards in his neighborhood! possibly a rl gift that could count as both!)
3. Mother (no ideas here)
4. Think of family grievances to bring up at Xmas Eve dinner after a few bourbons
5. Remember not to go back to the store from last year where there was an “incident” (no, Grumpy wasn’t shoplifting — Grumpy had a problem with this asshat that thought he could just step in line in front of Grumpy. They were both invited to leave after the dust had cleared.)
6. Liquor stores are not open on Xmas Day, stock up, a few times.
7. Put in enough credits and power in all the mines to last through Xmas Eve and Day.
8. Everyone/anyone else - Best Buy gift cards
Grumpy really had no idea of a suitable SWG gift. If he were to get a practical SWG gift, similar to RL, she might say “gee you shouldn’t have…and I wish you hadn’t”. So that eliminates stim crates, composite armor, non-CH pets or large lots of Weasponsmith resources-that-will-never-spawn-again. Grumpy considered (and decided against) getting one of Aeko’s voodoo crafting stations for his gf, which would have solved two of his problems at once. That’s called a bargain at any price.
And then Grumpy thought of the perfect SWG Xmas gift. It would be everything she really wants and nothing she needs. Grumpy will take his gf/business partner on a dream SWG adventure. Not the kind of adventure that Grumpy normally puts them through, involving cloning centers, item decay and thinly-veiled accusations about whose fault it was. Rather, an adventure on one of the expensive-ticket planets with their swoops, brand new swoops even! so there’s no black smoke and flames to frighten innocent bystanders and small children.
And he would bring along two Fishmaster 3000000s, plenty of chum bait, and dozens of camp kits, just in case the new swoops decided they were tired and auto-stored themselves. Grumpy won’t answer any tells from yo yo dawgs about schematics or deeds or if Grumpy’s Xmas holocron has been spoken for yet. And if his gf wants to chat with passersby about how their day is going and what color of clothes they like best, Grumpy won’t grumble and gripe like he normally does, he’ll just smile and do some animations like /bow /dance /greet and /welcome.
Grumpy hopes she enjoys the adventure and is relaxed and refreshed when it’s over.
The vast Architectural Empire will be waiting for their return and, how festive, gd radioactive just shifted.
The Grumpy Master Architect ©
P.S. Merry Christmas yo dawgs, and to Grumpy’s non-Christian customers, help keep the SWG economy afloat while Grumpy’s on vacation by shopping early and often.