Grumpy and his gf/business partner spent the first weekend of the SWG New Year by visiting several Adventure! planets with their soon-to-be l337 combat stealth alts. Grumpy has been aware for some time now that there are other planets besides Corellia, Naboo, Tatooine, Dantooine and Dathomir. (Grumpy is not making that up!) He also knows from his detailed research that these other planets are called Adventure! planets, presumably because he COULD have an adventure there if he can stay out of the cloning center for longer than ten minutes at a time.
Grumpy and his gf discussed which of the Adventure! planets they should try as they browsed through the list of available destinations at the Coronet starport. Grumpy speculated that maybe the starports were broken too as Yavin I through III were missing from the list. For all Grumpy knew, Yavin I, II or III could be the land of milk and honey for Novice Combat people like Team Grumpy. In the end, they chose Dathomir, as it was familiar to him and if it proved too easy, they could always port over to another planet.
Grumpy’s gf wanted to get some Master Doctor buffs before they went up to Dath, but Grumpy explained that buffs were for losers that don’t know how to play their profession. For crissakes, they both could heal and were Novices already! His gf reminded him that they didn’t have pets anymore. Grumpy just gave her his “Don’t question me, woman” look and bought his ticket. ONE WAY. Won’t be a need to come back to Coronet any time soon.
They were disappointed that the mission terminals wouldn’t offer them any worthwhile missions like those defiler things that Grumpy had killed with his l337 combat buds. Instead they chose the largest missions available to them, some mutated or mangled b*tches-something, which really looked like mutant chickens. (Shouldn’t they look like mutated dogs and bark complaints like “how full does the garbage can have to get before you empty it?!?!?)
On the way to the first mission, they ran into an enraged rancor which had noticed them from the other side of the planet and was very pleased to meet them. Grumpy’s gf said that she didn’t think they could handle this very RED and angry mob, without buffs, pets or armor, and virtually no skills. Grumpy gave her *that look* again and told her to stand back while he showed her what strategy was all about.
Back in the cloning center, while healing their rather extensive wounds, Grumpy announced he had a few changes in strategy. His gf expressed surprise that they would try again, but Grumpy reminded her that they had gotten the rancor down to 80 percent health under very adverse circumstances, including rain, a tornado and baseball-sized hail. She didn’t even think the rancor would still be there (his gf = noob, sometimes). Grumpy knew better. Grumpy knew that Rancor Kong would be waiting for them. And it was. It might have been smirking too, Grumpy’s not sure.
Cloning Center Visit #2, Grumpy had another set of strategy changes. His gf wondered aloud if any of those changes involved buffs, armor, calling in reinforcements or additional combat levels. Grumpy didn’t find much humor in those suggestions and ordered her to GET THE SWOOP AND MOVE OUT! Now, it was getting personal.
This time, An Enraged Rancor must have tired of messing around with Team Grumpy because it killed Grumpy’s swoop too, which his gf found hilarious. After porting down to Coronet to fix his swoop problem, Grumpy came back to Dath and, honestly, was hoping the Rancor either didn’t have any regeneration or somehow had despawned. No luck on the despawn, but it hadn’t regenned. Thankfully.
Engagement #…well, Grumpy lost track how many times by now, but the Rancor was at 20 percent health, and after politely refusing help from a TKM passing by, Grumpy got the Rancor’s attention by /spitting in its direction (or maybe it was proximity aggro…), and this time, with some luck on big heals, big hits and swapping aggro between the two of them, they finally downed the smug bastage. And BOOYA, dozens of hides, don’t find that on dwarf nunas!
The hour was late at this point, and they wouldn’t have time to do their missions. Grumpy felt very satisfied with the night’s work however, and he had learned alot about Dathomir and An Enraged Rancors.
His gf learned alot too. Grumpy knows this because she told him that maybe Grumpy’s worst enemy isn’t going to be a red and angry mob.
The Grumpy Master Architect ©
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