Grumpy was sitting through a meeting at his RL work yesterday, (actually, ENDURING would be a more accurate description), thinking over all the things he had done in SWG, asshats he’d had the misfortune to meet, waypoints he wished he’d never visited. The misadventures were most of the fun in SWG and were well worth the price of admission. After a certain point, though, losing credits, equipment and interest outweighs the adventure.
…Grumpy opens his first shop, a little shed really, and hires his first vendor, a HUGE vendor box. To his dismay, he discovers that the SWG Vendor Union is even more powerful than the Teamsters, and has to pay thousands of credits EACH hour to operate the Huge Vendor Box. Grumpy’s first marketing plan, rather rudimentary in hindsight, involves /shouting to the blue dots he sees on radar to get their asses inside the store and buy something for crissakes, the maintenance is killing him! Needless to say, there was quite a bit of drinking involved that night and not a lot of sales.
…Grumpy is sent on an errand to find Fish for sale so that his gf/business partner can build one of those aquariums she had heard so much about. Returning empty-handed, he announces his intention to get the d*mn fish himself and, thus, A Fishing God was born. In fact, Grumpy starts to spend so much time fishing, mostly hiding from his SWG responsibilites, his gf suspects him of having a RP affair with a Twilek dancer. Grumpy explains A. he’d rather clone than roleplay, B. fishing was HER idea, and C. unless the twilek eats chum bait and likes being fileted, he wouldn’t be interested anyways.
…Grumpy gets some angry tells from a whack job at the starport, telling him to stop spamming her. Grumpy, having just logged on, scrolls up in his chat log to see if maybe he was leaning on his /shout hotkey for the store waypoints. He hadn’t, and replies that she must be mistaken on who was spamming. She insists she was not and that Grumpy should stop sending her tells to sell somethingorother. Grumpy tries one more time to explain that he had just checked his log and is innocent. The whack job really lets Grumpy have it then, thereby ensuring herself a spot on Grumpy’s addignore list. Grumpy runs into WhackJob981 a few weeks later, overt and getting a musician buff in the cantina. Grumpy really lets her have it then. The beat down, that is.
…Grumpy heads to Bestine to kick some tail, tangles with one red Pistoleer that is backed up by *gasp* three blue dots and one very blue and neutral Master Rezzer. Grumpy rather bluntly tells the group to stop fighting like, and he quotes, “cowardly pr***s”. One of the blue dots threatens to report Grumpy (oh no), so Grumpy saves them the trouble by reporting himself, making sure that he includes the “cowardly pr***s” and the “f*ck off” and adds that Grumpy is neither repentent nor ashamed about the incident. He was curious if he would ever hear back on that. (Nope, never.)
Grumpy will be in and out of SWG for a while longer: wrap-up work, a new fishing puddle he had found on the sunny side of Moenia JUST BEFORE THEY BROKE FISHING, maybe a few more PvP romps … or should he say, PvP time spent running like h*ll from god-mode Master Riflemen?
For the most part, Grumpy enjoyed his time here. Lately, Grumpy sees far too much apathy and far too little competence for his tastes, but he understands that others might like that sort of thing from their MMORPG. He’ll try The Next Big Thing, of course — would be unAmerican not to sample everything available … to excess.
Until then, Grumpy is in syndication exclusively on the Eclipse message boards. (Ed. note: not so exclusively now.)
Werd up dawgs, yo
The Grumpy Master Architect Â©