Seems rather pointless to outline Grumpy’s first PVP kill, of an AT-KEYBOARD PLAYER, however amusing and hard to believe. It took Grumpy the better part of an hour to skim through all the crap that was slung around this weekend, but allow him to summarize, for those without the patience or attention span to slog through it all ….
GRUMPY’S DRAMA SUMMARY (timestamp: 1/19/04, approx 10:30 am PST)
The Great Weaponsmith Tape Auction of 2004 - Rudd auctions a tape, with somewhat ambiguous terms, that he macro-looted in the Rori borgle cave, allegedly aided by a 3rd-party macro program. (ALLEGEDLY, people) Stryker is involved as the money backer for his buddy/partner and, somewhat bluntly, points out to all (YOU SHOULD ALREADY KNOW THIS, btw) that he was prepared and able to pay anything for the tape. Uproar ensues.
The Resources Do A Houdini - Stryker stores bajillions of resources in his vendors’ stockrooms and discovers that most of them have poofed, apparently due to the wonder of modern-day programming. D*mn those 1s, 0s and commas. Stryker begins his long, fruitless, albeit naive, quest to have Houdini brought back to his stockrooms and discovers the true meaning of a Sony MLK Day. God bless us, every one!
Eclipse Posters Resurrect the Dead - A few of Eclipse’s more prolific posters necropost on old threads. While this was initially amusing, it soon became tiresome — Sony, never amused as far as Grumpy has ever seen, raises the giant ban stick and smotes them into the abyss. Petitions, pettitions and patitions are all created in, what will probably be, a futile attempt to resurrect the necroposters. Showmanship, boys. You took the bit too far; always leave us begging for more.
Roripalooza Sells Out - Arguments break out over who has been spending more time at the borgle cave, other than the borgles themselves, obviously. Accusations fly around about the proper technique, whether 3rd party programs are necessary, and if it is legal to watch sports while looting a pile of debris. JFC, you don’t expect the debris to loot itself, do ya? Don’t expect the debris to nerf itself either — expect incoming hotfixes and possibly Presidents Day skill tapes for us all!
Stryker Pulls Out (subtitle: You Can’t Get Pregnant The First Time, Baby) - Chapter 1: The Asslickers versus The Jackals - Stryker realizes (rather late in the game) that he isn’t getting a paycheck to play this game and does the math. Headaches > Game Reward. He announces his retirement. Grumpy isn’t sure which is more disturbing, the asslickers that rushed to the thread, knocking over the elderly and infirm on their way, or the jackals that arrived later. More accusations of duped resources, exploits, autocratic monopolies and abandoning his “friends”, blah blah blah. Diplomacy and tact, where are you?
The Jedi Are Outted - Apparently still embittered that the entire Eclipse community didn’t rush to get his autograph for his stellar handling of the auction debacle and his involvement with Roripalooza, Rudd publishes several Jedi names, including their preferred hunting grounds. Grumpy assumes since none of them were experiencing right outside the Coronet starport that they would rather this knowledge remain not-quite-so common. Snakes don’t crawl this low, but what do we expect from a guy that put the smug in Smuggler?
Thank you everyone, you’ve been a great audience. /bow
The Grumpy Master Architect ©