7/19/2004 05:06:11 AM|||Foton|||Grumpy isn't fond of man-made randomness. Grumpy thinks all randomness is stupid with the possible exception of DNA mutation randomness, which he hears, but cannot confirm, lead to the evolution of the human being. Which was a good thing. In theory.

Man-made randomness is pure evil, however. It is solely responsible for all of Grumpy's critical failures, "good" experimentation successes (if it's so good, then why does Grumpy curse?), and fusion power drying up on multiple planets for over a week. It is also responsible for most of Grumpy's SWG conspiracy theories and superstitions.

When it comes to resources, Grumpy really has very little control over this; but that hasn't stopped him from inventing several routines and rituals to aid him in tracking down a high-yield BUILDABLE mine field.

Grumpy never surveys in town. He can't build there anyhow and if he were to find a high-yield ore right in town...he might throw something. He does peek at the survey tools to see what's available on the planet, and, after taking a deep breath, scrolls to the bottom of the mineral list praying that radioactive is available (realizing, of course, that the high-yield radio is tucked away in a remote corner of the planet behind a wall of red mobs armed with rifles).

Once outside of town, he surveys for the few resources that catch his fancy (always mindful that radioactive drives the vast Architectural Empire each week). The highest survey is then chased down; Grumpy on his trusty steed (and NOW swooper!), following every little trickle, hoping for the big score. Usually Grumpy says things IRL like.."cmon baby, gimme the big one" or "I'm rolling the dice, time to pay off" or "sonuva....CRAPS". (For crissakes, Grumpy doesn't refer to himself in the third person IRL...yet.)

Sometimes Grumpy scores, most of the time he goes bust. Grumpy knows resources are like a crap shoot with worse-than-Vegas odds. It's rare, but sometimes the player takes the house in Vegas; that NEVER happens in SWG. That's man-made randomness...it appears random, but really there's someone directing the outcome behind the scenes.

When Grumpy finds a suitable field, he lays down rows and rows of miners; hauls out his alts to lay down rows and rows of miners; wakes up his gf/business partner to put down her rows and rows of miners...until there are Grumpy miners as far as the eye can see. And that is the most beautiful sight that Grumpy knows of in SWG.

When it comes to crafting and experimentation, however, Grumpy has invented very intricate rituals to combat the man-made randomness and the anti-Grumpy conspiracy coding that he is CONVINCED is in the game. Grumpy has four crafting tools in his inventory, one uber plus 3 junk ones. All subcomponents and crap furniture can be made in the junk tools, but the good stuff has to come out of the uber tool or he is SURE to crit fail on it. If a junk tool crit fails, he doesn't redo the item in that tool, he has to switch to another tool or he could start a crit fail streak, which has been known to reduce grown men to tears.

All deeds and hide-furniture are made in the uber tool. If the uber tool crit fails, (rare, but it has happened), Grumpy has to close the tool, walk away from his computer for AT LEAST 5 minutes, and then he can return and try again. The 5-minute cooling-off period is necessary or else a crit fail streak could begin in the uber tool, and that is serious enough that it could topple the vast Architectural Empire.

Once when Grumpy was doing the final combine on a fusion generator, (it was going to be a beauty too), a price checker interrupted Grumpy's thoughts when he was "in the crafting zone", and the fusion crit failed. Ever since then, Grumpy does not respond to tells during any final combines. He answers tells while the deed is cooking in the tool, but NEVER when the tool is open. That would be tempting fate.

Grumpy has made various other adjustments to his crafting routine, mostly in response to crit fails, like...he can't have a weapon equipped while crafting, no shoes equipped either, his pet can't be outside the shop spamming Hungry! Hungry! Play! and he has moved the fishing pole into the other room so it doesn't taunt him while he's stuck inside on such a beautiful day making solar generators for his pushy neighbor. (For crying out loud, get a fusion, noob)

Grumpy isn't going public with all of his crafting rituals. They might get coded against him, or the thread would be abducted...under mysterious circumstances......

The Grumpy Master Architect ©

|||109023895117264922|||Grumpy Is Superstitious (12-18-03)