7/19/2004 05:56:02 AM|||Foton|||Not really, but Grumpy thinks Player Cities would be far more interesting if designed more like RL cities, with bribery, Mob deals and scandals involving missing funds and naked Super Models. Grumpy would be the first to volunteer to join a Player City if any of those things were possible in SWG. Not that Grumpy can actually have a house anywhere, he needs the lots for stores, mines, factories and billboards. (You deserve a break today, at Grumpy's, The Real Thing for a New Generation, Just Do It.)

As it is tho, Player Cities are an odd lot. Some are bustling, most empty and silent as tombs. Out of curiousity, Grumpy offered to do the weekly Weapons Pricecheck for his gf/business partner on his stealth alt up at the Isle of Misfits. (The Misfit Mall being one of the few remaining malls that hasn't banned Grumpy's ass, and by that, Grumpy means one of the few remaining malls, as many have fallen into disrepair and neglect.)

The trip to the Isle took quite a while, as Grumpy had no idea which starport it was near, so he chose a random Holocron Planet port (of course, the WRONG port) and had to shuttle his way over. After waving off his gf's warnings not to talk to any of the Isle residents -- why not, Grumpy had no idea -- but assured her that he would behave. As far as she knew.

Grumpy figured that since he could just read off the stats and prices from a message board post, he could better spend his time wandering around and looking for malfeasance and corruption. The name alone ... Isle of MISFITS ... suggests there must be some dirty dealing or under-the-table City Council payoffs and kickbacks! Maybe a hidden ghetto where the wookies live -- poor saps, forced to give Trandoshans pedicures at the mall all day.

He found the Mall near the shuttleport, without even having to use his Ctrl M map, but he first checked out the merchant tents nearby, so he wouldn't miss any critical weapons pricechecks outside. There were no naked Super Models in any of the tents, but Grumpy did notice a definite parking problem with bikes all over the place. Grumpy found a great corner where a speed trap could be set up by the local authorities. Add in some outrageous parking ticket fines, and the Isle would have an instant, easily maintained additional revenue stream. Grumpy likes to "think outside the box." That's why he gets the big bucks.

Grumpy checked out some of the back rooms at the Misfit Mall, mostly looking to walk in on some shady deal with a gang of local thugs, but all he found were some nice crafting stations that he can send his gf/business partner to use the next time she complains about the crap stations Grumpy made for her. And if she got busted and thrown into the town jail, he MIGHT come bail her out. If he can find the jail. Although, if hijacking a crafting station is a capital offense, she's sh*t out of luck then.

Grumpy wandered outside and ran into some catass begging for credits. AHA, at last some realism, AN ACTUAL HOBO. Grumpy was hoping this was an alcoholic, mentally-ill, former independent crafter crushed and ruined by big business (would make a good headline!), turns out he was just a catass trying to short-leg his way to riches. Grumpy pretended he was afk until the hobo went to bother someone else.

Then Grumpy realized he had forgotten the most important reason he had come to the Misfit Mall in the first place. He was in dire need of some supplies for hunting later on. And that's when he found the biggest scandal of all! The vendor did not have any in stock!!! The horror! Not a single stack, much less a crate of the stuff. NOT A ONE! Grumpy considered making a formal complaint to management, but was concerned that the hapless crafter might get hauled into some backroom, (the room without any video cameras), and beaten with a sack of Vibro Knucklers. Grumpy didn't want that on his conscience, so he left empty-handed with his credits intact.

While waiting for the shuttle, he took a quick swoop ride around town, still hunting for the ghetto or a red-light district, maybe a crack house or two, and decided that this town, although nicely laid out and well planned, was definitely rated G. No IDs, fake or authentic, necessary here. Grumpy can safely report that the Isle of Misfits has much more in common with Mayberry than Las Vegas.

Shame that.

The Grumpy Master Architect ©|||109024188213746246|||Grumpy Reports that the Isle of Misfits is Corrupt!! (01-15-04)