7/19/2004 06:05:54 AM|||Foton|||Grumpy told his gf/business partner last night that she was getting a SWG promotion and congratulated her. She was puzzled, so Grumpy explained that Stryker was retiring and, naturally, by default (and through no effort on Grumpy's part!), she would be known as the eighth best weaponsmith on the server!!

Grumpy thought she would be excited and maybe give a little acceptance speech, which he would endure as part of his "Mr. Sensitive to Your Needs" act, but she wanted to know WHY was he retiring, WHEN did this happen, WHAT A SHAME that the jackals were now chewing his hide. Grumpy told her that Stryker was a grown man for crissakes and had surely run into jackals in real life already.

She thought this might be his first time running into jackals in a game, however, which Grumpy had to agree was disturbing the first time it happens. Although, by now, it has happened to Grumpy and his gf many times in online games. They have named these people the "What have you done for me lately?" people, or in short, the jackals.

Which all led to a very interesting conversation as they went about the daily business of the vast Weaponsmith Empire ... with a few architectural sales thrown in to cover travel tickets. Grumpy and his gf compiled a list of The 5 Worst Asshats They Have Run Into In An Online Game, or, for short, Grumpy's Arch Enemies. Grumpy's list was far more accurate as his gf's list had stupid people on it like these two sisters from Texas that tried to convince her that Grumpy was going to FLY TO TEXAS to live in their trailer park, which they described as a palatial trailer right before Grumpy put both their asses on ignore.

1. They refer to this quenker as He Who Cannot Be Named, although Grumpy calls him something like ThatMFUneWMALCS. Known to both of them in RL and so great is Grumpy's hate for this asshat that were Grumpy to run across him with his heart on fire, Grumpy wouldn't even piss on him. Seriously. At any rate, thievery, lies and dirty deals were the least of his crimes.

2. Player V, who hated Grumpy as much as Grumpy hated him. In the old days, when V would show up in the same area as Grumpy, he would launch into a /shout diatribe about what an asshat Grumpy was, which naturally Grumpy couldn't hear as V was ignored. The group would tell Grumpy what was being said tho, which didn't really concern Grumpy, but he for d*mn sure went out of his way to dump a bunch of aggro mobs onto V, as V would try to do to Grumpy as well.

3. Player X, who isn't even on his gf's list! His gf actually LIKED Player X! When Grumpy had to work late for a stretch of time, X would make plans to play with his gf, (in more ways than one), with wild stories about what Grumpy was up to when his gf wasn't around. Grumpy tried to explain to her that X was doing this, that this was the kind of sh*t that men sometimes do, for crissakes, GRUMPY WOULD KNOW THIS AS HE PULLS SH*T TOO, but she was always unconvinced.

4. Player M, who stole everything from Grumpy and his gf's guild, then tried to pin it on Grumpy. GMs were called in by the other guildmates to check out Grumpy's account, and he was cleared of all wrongdoing, as were all of Grumpy's alts. (For crying out loud, they did a THOROUGH investigation.) Later Player M switched servers, and last Grumpy heard, Player M had a lot of game items for sale.

5. Player N, who was a THORN IN GRUMPY'S SIDE, from the first time Grumpy met him. N was one of those whiny "when is the guild gonna do this for me?" people. As Grumpy was the combat leader, and generally planned the night's activities for everyone, N would begin his nightly whining with Grumpy. After Grumpy would redo his ignore list, N would whine to Grumpy's gf, who would then plead N's case to Grumpy. Needless to say, they would do a lot of stuff for N in that guild.

After comparing lists, which were very disimilar, they both had to agree on one point: You sure can meet quality people in an online game.

Not that they ever have.

The Grumpy Master Architect ©

|||109024247419335215|||Grumpy's Arch Enemies (01-20-04)