7/18/2004 09:16:45 PM|||Foton|||Grumpy spends some of his RL work day mulling over his SWG business model. This is time well spent for two reasons. Number one, he gets to consider all the minor adjustments he can make to his SWG business to push architectural sales through the roof, and number two, it appears to his RL boss that Grumpy is doing actual work because he writes a lot of things down on a legal pad.

Grumpy also has an index card that lists his "ideal stocking levels" for his vendors and frequently makes minor adjustments here and there based on the previous week's sales. Naturally, Grumpy needs time to outline his SWG misadventures also, which he does during "coffee time" in the morning and while he's dodging the very chatty clerical people that hover outside his office.

Sometimes Grumpy will emerge and growl at them to get some work done. Grumpy knows this is called "managing the staff" and that's why he gets paid the big bucks.

Some days, Grumpy will arrive home to announce, (with great enthusiasm) that he has MADE AN ADJUSTMENT TO THEIR SWG BUSINESS MODEL. His gf/business partner usually responds with a "that's nice" or "again?". Grumpy is never deterred and always goes on to describe in great detail the numerous adjustments that he has outlined on his legal pad.

Recently, Grumpy announced that one of his adjustments was that he is leaving the deed racket. Grumpy explained that deed price-checking drove him nuts, margins were slim and his d*mn factory never wanted to cooperate anyhow. Grumpy's gf actually agreed with this adjustment. Grumpy went on to tell her that he was closing down her favorite store location (her very SENTIMENTAL favorite, Grumpy pointed out) due to dwindling traffic in that town. Grumpy's gf protested vigorously.

Grumpy could sympathize (not really, but he was pretending to be "Mr. Sensitive to Your Needs" guy) but they had to gradually pull out of that dying ghost town before they started losing money out there. His gf reluctantly agreed but was grateful that Grumpy was going to do it gradually so she could visit there dozens of times and relive fond memories of when they were punk crafters and /sigh alot. Grumpy thought...for crissakes.

Grumpy's plan was to allow her, at most, one day to /sigh and reminisce and then dismantle the whole shebang until all that was left would be a deed, for resale. In hindsight, he probably should have told her this upfront.

He arrived home the next day and was greeted by an angry woman with her arms crossed across her chest. Tapping her foot. She wanted to know where their house was. Grumpy said, Honey I'm home (in a futile attempt at humor). His gf was having none of that. Grumpy explained the house and contents were on his vendors, PROBABLY making them rich(er) at this very moment. (for crissakes, where else would it be??) His gf said something like "how could he?" and Grumpy wondered "why wouldn't he?" but knew he was in serious trouble.

Adopting his best "Mr. Sensitive to Your Needs" look, he explained that he didn't want her to wallow in her grief, that it was best to do it fast, like ripping off a bandaid. And that she would thank him later. Then he left the room, hopeful that she wasn't about to throw a pencil at his eye. Grumpy knew, from past experience, that asking what was for dinner that night would be a very bad thing at this point, so he offered to take them both out to eat. At a real restaurant with servers named Joshua, but just call him Josh.

That's called damage control. And that's why Grumpy gets paid the big bucks.

The Grumpy Master Architect ©

|||109021078599159756|||Grumpy's Business Model (12-09-03)