7/18/2004 09:26:26 PM|||Foton|||Grumpy's Friday Feature this week is a special service to the community. If you suspect that you might be an asshat, or, if you are frequently called an asshat by others (or similar names), you should check your behavior against the following criteria and adjust your actions to be less asshat-like.

For all the non-asshats, feel free to forward the list to the asshats around you -- you could also BOLD the sections that apply to them and add a comment like "THIS IS YOU, ASSHAT!".

Clues that You May Be An Asshat

1. You think most of our thoughts revolve around what you're doing, what you've done and what you'd like to do. Listen up cupcake, /tells are in the game for a reason...so Grumpy doesn't have to read what you have to say about life and especially YOUR life.

2. You think most of us log in hoping that we can aid you in some way in SWG. Grumpy logs in for one of 3 reasons...He wants to do something he considers fun in SWG, he promised another player to do something for them or his gf/business partner needs credits for GodKnowsWhat. See the word "YOU" in there anywhere?

3. You think manners in an internet environment are "too much bother" ... possibly you think this extends to rl interactions as well, Grumpy isn't sure, but has a good guess. Unless you use "please", "thank you" and "you're welcome" (shortened forms of these are marginally acceptable), Grumpy is like a CSR ...Grumpy doesn't know you and feels no need to respond.

4. You think and act, on some level, as if other players are just enhanced AI's (as opposed to REAL PEOPLE) put into the game to enrich your gaming experience. Grumpy is willing to be an enhanced AI for you, but he needs to get a paycheck in the mail first, either from Sony or from your parents.

5. You think your experience points and/or game advancement are far more important than others' exp and advancement (often accompanied by excessive whining and rationalization of fradulent game behavior). This, without a doubt, is the quickest way to get to Grumpy's addignore list. And his sh*t list. All those on the sh*t list automatically qualify for the "sh*t list surcharge" on all goods and services. Congrats.

6. You think grammars and speillin are for lewsers if it's not for a grade in skewl. Unless your aim is to be thought an ill-educated moe-ron, checking over your posts/emails/tells before you publish them would be a good idea. No need to spit and polish the post, just read it over once for clarity and glaring errors. Grumpy's not wading through paragraphless drivel to find the one salient point in your post.

7. You know it all and/or have done it all too. No, you don't and haven't. But Grumpy thinks it's cute you think so. (not really, he thinks it's annoying and so does everyone else.)

After reviewing the above list, if you just thought to yourself:

"For crissakes, I'm an asshat" - recovery is possible, recognizing you have a problem is an important first step.

"For crissakes, I'm an asshat and a jedi" - doomed. You got away with being an asshat too long, there's no hope for you (and probably no aid will be forthcoming from the community either).

"For crissakes, I'm an asshat and a 12 year old punk" - uncertain. You could reform, but it's just as likely the adult community will remove your DNA from the genetic pool.

"For crissakes, I'm an asshat and I need to apologize to the entire Eclipse community" - knock it off. Not even Grumpy's gf/business partner would believe that BS.

"I'm not an asshat" - wake up, even Grumpy is an asshat from time to time.

Werd up.

The Grumpy Master Architect ©

|||109021138816815112|||Grumpy's Clues that You May Be an Asshat (Friday Feature) (12-12-03)